Today I would like to share from my past. Writing about my past is hard for me to do. It is very much a part of me that I do not like to dwell on. I feel led by the Lord to share here though. Having said that, I would like to show you today how to become the victor and not the victim anymore. I have written a book about my life which has more details, but I wanted to give you a little overview and draw you nearer to the Lord Jesus Christ, Yahweh, my Savior. Everyone has their own individual testimony; the events of what happened in their life to draw them to Christ. Today, I would like to share, briefly, some of mine. There is a ton more for perhaps another day.
Jesus has been with me since a was a child. He has shown His power over and over again to me. I was abused as a child. My mother physically, mentally and sexually abused and tormented me throughout the majority of my childhood. My earliest memories were at the age of 5. I am sure there were more before that but thank God I do not have that much of a recollection before then. I do not wish to go into explicit detail. (I have already done that in a book I have written.) Suffice it to say, my mother, was extremely abusive. But God was with me through that time. He gave me a wonderful and oh so loving, kind and compassionate sister. He gave me kind neighbors who gave me warm food and sweet conversation.
Then mother gave me to the state at the age of twelve I believe. She took me to the courthouse and said she didn’t want me anymore, that they could have me. I was so hurt. I will never forget that day or her red eyes that were so full of hate…..why mom why don’t you love me, I shouted in my mind….what can I do to make you love me….I’ll do anything….MOM!!!! Then the judge took one look at my battered and bruised body and put me in the care of the state. Foster care wasn’t so much fun either. I had temporary parents until they found someone who could take me, then I was switched back and forth several times. One of the parents got mad when I tried to sneak and go see my mom, for they wanted a child they could adopt who had no mom I guess, so back to temporary home….oh so many stories but I won’t go into detail here. But God was there. He gave me a sweet Pentecostal church congregation family that showered me with love. He had His hand on me. My mother is now a saved woman. She wishes she would have done things differently.
I grew up and found a man that I thought would love me forever. He was an abusive alcoholic. I spent ten years with him because I believe in love and marriage. God was still with me. I was a member of a wonderful Baptist church where you could just feel the Holy Spirit there….then satan destroyed the church. The pastor was charged with a sexual misdemeanor involving a teenage child and he also cheated on his wife with the Sunday school teacher. I quit going to church after that. The whole church disbanded. It is better to keep your eyes on God and not man. God was still with me. I was the one who walked away from Him.
Have you been abused as a child, or as a spouse? Listen, bad things happen sometimes. God is still in control. He will heal you. He is able. He can fix your brokenness. He has set me free from all of that garbage. I have so much I could write about, my only reason for doing it now is to share with you so that you can know that God is there for you. Please turn to Him. Don’t let another day go by without asking Him to heal you. We all have a hole in our hearts that only He can fill. Let His love heal you today. He gives peace, strength and most of all unconditional love. Trust me, I know first hand the healing power that He alone can provide. Jesus took my mess and made a message of love and hope.
Pray with me please
I just want to thank You for my life. You have created me in Your image (Genesis 1:26). I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). What the devil meant for evil, You will turn to good (Genesis 50:20). There is nothing You cannot do. No heart that is too broken for You to heal. Father, a lot of Your children have been victims of violence in one way or another. I know this hurts You. It was all of those ugly sins that nailed You to the cross. I ask You Father for Your healing hands to touch Your children who are reading this now. I pray that, by me opening up to them, that they too can trust in You for their healing. Please open up the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing on these, Your children. I pray that Your healing balm would even now be poured on their hearts and that they would give that part of them to You for You to redeem it. You are our great Redeemer. Let beauty flow from those ashes (Isaiah 61:1-3). I pray that all reading would be able to forgive any who have hurt them (Matthew 6:14-15). That is where the healing begins. We trust You Lord. You are the Judge and You will work everything out for our good (Acts 17:31 & Romans 8:28). Thank You for Your healing. We pray in Jesus’ name.
Let’s worship today with
Need You Now by Plumb
Broken Things by Matthew West
Mended by Matthew West
If you do not know Jesus but would like to know more about Him, please read the following blog titled, Never let Us Go. God bless. https://thefathersfeet.wordpress.com/2020/01/07/you-never-let-us-go/